diff --git a/src/Console/Relay.php b/src/Console/Relay.php
index ab994dc62c..206726f6bc 100644
--- a/src/Console/Relay.php
+++ b/src/Console/Relay.php
@@ -49,7 +49,7 @@ console relay - Manage ActivityPub relay configuration
 Synopsis
 	bin/console relay list [-h|--help|-?] [-v]
 	bin/console relay add <actor> [-h|--help|-?] [-v]
-	bin/console relay remove <actor> [-h|--help|-?] [-v]
+	bin/console relay remove <actor> [-f|--force] [-h|--help|-?] [-v]
 
 Description
 	bin/console relay list
@@ -62,6 +62,7 @@ Description
 		Remove a relay actor in the format https://relayserver.tld/actor
 
 Options
+    -f|--force   Change the relay status in the system even if the unsubscribe message failed
     -h|--help|-? Show help information
     -v           Show more debug information.
 HELP;
@@ -119,10 +120,14 @@ HELP;
 					$this->out($actor . " couldn't be added");
 				}
 			} elseif ($mode == 'remove') {
-				if (Transmitter::sendRelayUndoFollow($actor)) {
+				$force = $this->getOption(['f', 'force'], false);
+
+				if (Transmitter::sendRelayUndoFollow($actor, $force)) {
 					$this->out('Successfully removed ' . $actor);
-				} else {
+				} elseif (!$force) {
 					$this->out($actor . " couldn't be removed");
+				} else {
+					$this->out($actor . " is forcefully removed");
 				}
 			} else {
 				throw new CommandArgsException($mode . ' is no valid command');
diff --git a/src/Model/Contact.php b/src/Model/Contact.php
index 6fde8123a1..6e74241b6f 100644
--- a/src/Model/Contact.php
+++ b/src/Model/Contact.php
@@ -126,6 +126,7 @@ class Contact
 	 * Relationship types
 	 * @{
 	 */
+	const NOTHING  = 0;
 	const FOLLOWER = 1;
 	const SHARING  = 2;
 	const FRIEND   = 3;
diff --git a/src/Protocol/ActivityPub/Receiver.php b/src/Protocol/ActivityPub/Receiver.php
index 67e38fcfef..69d24a7abb 100644
--- a/src/Protocol/ActivityPub/Receiver.php
+++ b/src/Protocol/ActivityPub/Receiver.php
@@ -173,6 +173,17 @@ class Receiver
 			return;
 		}
 
+		$contact = Contact::getByURL($actor);
+		if (empty($contact)) {
+			Logger::info('Relay contact not found', ['actor' => $actor]);
+			return;
+		}
+
+		if (!in_array($contact['rel'], [Contact::SHARING, Contact::FRIEND])) {
+			Logger::notice('Relay is no sharer', ['actor' => $actor]);
+			return;
+		}
+
 		Logger::info('Got relayed message id', ['id' => $object_id]);
 
 		$item_id = Item::searchByLink($object_id);
diff --git a/src/Protocol/ActivityPub/Transmitter.php b/src/Protocol/ActivityPub/Transmitter.php
index b232c8c7f3..54df8e059e 100644
--- a/src/Protocol/ActivityPub/Transmitter.php
+++ b/src/Protocol/ActivityPub/Transmitter.php
@@ -88,15 +88,16 @@ class Transmitter
 	 */
 	public static function sendRelayFollow(string $url)
 	{
-		$contact_id = Contact::getIdForURL($url);
-		if (!$contact_id) {
+		$contact = Contact::getByURL($url);
+		if (empty($contact)) {
 			return false;
 		}
 
-		$activity_id = ActivityPub\Transmitter::activityIDFromContact($contact_id);
+		$activity_id = ActivityPub\Transmitter::activityIDFromContact($contact['id']);
 		$success = ActivityPub\Transmitter::sendActivity('Follow', $url, 0, $activity_id);
 		if ($success) {
-			DBA::update('contact', ['rel' => Contact::FRIEND], ['id' => $contact_id]);
+			$rel = $contact['rel'] == Contact::SHARING ? Contact::FRIEND : Contact::FOLLOWER;
+			DBA::update('contact', ['rel' => $rel], ['id' => $contact['id']]);
 		}
 
 		return $success;
@@ -105,19 +106,21 @@ class Transmitter
 	/**
 	 * Unsubscribe from a relay
 	 *
-	 * @param string $url Subscribe actor url
+	 * @param string $url   Subscribe actor url
+	 * @param bool   $force Set the relay status as non follower even if unsubscribe hadn't worked
 	 * @return bool success
 	 */
-	public static function sendRelayUndoFollow(string $url)
+	public static function sendRelayUndoFollow(string $url, bool $force = false)
 	{
-		$contact_id = Contact::getIdForURL($url);
-		if (!$contact_id) {
+		$contact = Contact::getByURL($url);
+		if (empty($contact)) {
 			return false;
 		}
 
-		$success = self::sendContactUndo($url, $contact_id, 0);
-		if ($success) {
-			DBA::update('contact', ['rel' => Contact::SHARING], ['id' => $contact_id]);
+		$success = self::sendContactUndo($url, $contact['id'], 0);
+		if ($success || $force) {
+			$rel = $contact['rel'] == Contact::FRIEND ? Contact::SHARING : Contact::NOTHING;
+			DBA::update('contact', ['rel' => $rel], ['id' => $contact['id']]);
 		}
 
 		return $success;